NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

 NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS 

© Adedeji, Adewale H.O.K

New Year's resolutions are good ways to promise improvements to oneself and one's behavior, a “fresh start” to the new year - a new begining. But if chosen poorly, a resolution also can be a source of anxiety, disappointment and hopelessness.

They tap into the abiding spirit of relentless self-improvement, and that can be so relentless that it translates into additional stress.

Choosing an appropriate resolution — and realistic ways to follow — can help relieve some of those stress and anxiety in the journey ahead.

Resolutions tend to focus on a few specific areas — health, wealth and relationships.

The number one difficulty we encounter is that people make truly unrealistic, grandiose expectations.

There's this temptation when the year switches from 2022 to 2023, then it's a fresh start and everything in the past is all history but those goals are more attainable when they're built on a better understanding of yourself.

SET REALISTIC GOALS

In reality, we know that all the things that we want to change about ourselves don't just disappear with a line in the sand because it strikes midnight on January 1st by making intentions and setting out goals on our to achieve them. The best way to pick a resolution is to take stock of your current lifestyle and then, armed with that awareness, choose self-improvements that are attainable.

Note that, small changes are much more sustainable than radical interventions to restructure or redesign our lives. It's really focusing on progress, not perfection.

The acronym SMART is a good guide for setting a New Year's resolution.

S - specific,

M - measurable, 

A - attainable, 

R - realistic, 

T - time-specific.

It's good to help break it down into scalable and do-able steps that may in fact lead to a larger goal, but it really does need to be realistic or it does indeed become a recipe for disaster.

For instance, the person who says they will exercise every day for a year when they've never made exercise a regular part of their life.

If you're someone who doesn't really like to exercise all that much, you can't attain that level of exercise.

Keeping notes or a little journal can help keep track of these smaller accomplishments. Note the positive steps you take each day or week, and perhaps even list one or two things you'd want to accomplish in the week ahead.

That can help us see that we've made some change over time, and the things that we want to pay more attention to by being mindful.

CHANGE FOR YOURSELF, NOT OTHERS

Another tip is to make a resolution based on your own needs rather than what you think others would expect from you or admire in you.

Research shows that people are more successful in following through on resolutions if they are internally motivated other than externally motivated.

Losing weight is a very popular New Year's resolution. If it's to look good for your old friend re-union, that's an external motivation. But if it's for health reasons, meaning, you have the motivation to be healthy, let's say blood tests showed that you have high cholesterol or high blood sugar — then you are more internally motivated to stick to any kind of change that you would be starting.

Once you've chosen a realistic resolution that is personally important, fortitude becomes the key.

What sabotages people is not that they don't know what to do, but they are not prepared to do the work.

If you talk to yourself by saying, 'this is so hard,' you're going to feel powerless doing the work.

It depends on how you talk to yourself about it. Let's say your muscles ache because you're exercising or you feel a hunger pang. Well, that's a good sign, right? Because you're actually making changes in your body but on the other hand, if you talk to yourself by saying, 'this is challenging, but I've experienced worse and I can manage it', you'll definitely do the job — self-talk is very important.

Something that helps people to become more successful in making change is bringing somebody else in. 

Having an accountability to another person. If it is exercise, for example, being accountable to go exercise with someone else, meet somebody, even just to walk or to go to the gym, it will make both parties social and adds a degree of accountability and a higher likelihood of success in their relationship.

And keep in mind that perfect is the enemy of good. You might lapse or not meet a goal, but that doesn't mean you should give up.

There is a very good and important science on how you think and behave when you encounter inevitable backsliding, but you don't have to give up. A slip doesn't mean a fall. A single lapse does not constitute an entire re-lapse.